In God's Perfect Time

I woke up at around 6pm and checked on my phone. There were messages from my classmates informing me that the grades are out and to check mine ASAP.

In that moment, I felt anxious and afraid at the same time. For me, there was no more time for failure. Once is enough. I prayed to God, to Mama Mary, Papa Joseph, all the angels and saints to bless me with what I was asking and working hard for the past 6 months.  I didn't want to see my grades yet but I knew that I had to. I did not have a choice. I had to know.

It is now official. I am graduating as a Bachelor of Science in Accountancy student of Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan in the year 2015. I may have been delayed for one semester but I learned a lot from failing a year ago and all I can say is that failing was my turning point or my wake up call. 

A year ago, well a lot of you might know that I faced a very challenging experience in my academic life. I have never failed in this area. I was used to being at the top as to receiving awards and being one of the students in the honor's list. I was even a scholar of two programs back then. It was a shock for the people and for me too. I also experienced talking to my teacher and asking why I didn't make it. I knew then that he did everything that he could to make me pass but still, I fell short by 2 points. 

I visited the Immaculate Concepcion Church then. I questioned God on why I had to experience it as it was too painful. At the end of that day, I accepted it and tried to believe that it was part of His plans for me. I was supposed to attend review classes but I had to back-out. I was shaky back then but my family, fellow-volunteers and council members were there to call and talk to me for hours and I couldn't thank them enough for making me smile and appreciate life more.

I read books on Fashion  and fictional novels. I watched movies and TV series with my brothers and worked in our school as my mother was away. I reviewed my taxation lessons and financial accounting books and took up a dressmaking course in the months after that. I even went to Dumaguete for a sweet escape!

I got back in shape. 

A friend of mine told me to commit myself to God and Mama Mary by praying the rosary everyday and I did that. Though there were times when I'd fall asleep while praying. >.< But it was then that I renewed my faith in God and became more open to His plans for me. A lot of you may know that I am the type of person who plans things out like what I have to be 5 years from now but being in a prayerful life had changed me.

I got back with an exam on the first day of class and thank you Lord for making me pass. By then I knew that things are starting to fall into place. I am so back on my feet. Stronger than I was but now with a God to look up to. 

(fun shoot with my sisters ♥)

Last night, I was in tears for perhaps around 10 minutes. I was sobbing when I called my mother and my roommate Wendy was joking around and taking videos of me crying. Indeed, your thoughts are higher than my thoughts Lord and your plans greater than my plans. My mother was laughing in the other line and telling me to stop crying as God has blessed me with this moment. I realized that it might have not been my time a year ago, but the wait was worth it. It was given to me in God's perfect time. 

I longed for this moment for months and yes sir, "namugas jud ko this year".  Last year's comment may have been, "di tika masabtan. Ga-overthink ka sa problems" but this year's comment was, "so congratulations na ni?". I did put a lot of pressure on myself for the past 6 months and you know what? I learned so much from the subjects then I did a year ago. I worked harder than I did a year ago. This is my real effort. Now, I know that I have woken up and that I worked hard to deserve this moment. 

I texted my classmates last night and we are going to march together this March. That one year delay for us was worth the wait. 

So, if you fail once. Get back up. Failing once could be your wake up call. It was mine. To my teachers, I can't thank you enough. To my God, you will always be the best thing that has ever happened in my life. You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship thee. This degree is for you Lord♥

Bench (Blue Camisole Top), Penshoppe (White Long sleeve top), Fossil (Watch), Amor de Filipina (Shoes)